Inspirational South Park Quotes


“I think we all need to realize that everyone is different in one way or another, and we shouldn’t be threatened by those differences.”

- Stan, 911

“But you know, I’ve learned something today. I used to call you guys Melvins, but you’re just kids like me. We separate you in school because you talk different or you study too hard, but we’ve proven tonight that we can all get along.”

  1. -Stan, 308

“Well, this sure has been a whacky night, but me and the gang learned a lot and we hope you did too.  You all perceived us to be mean, evil people but really we’re just normal guys, and we all perceived Pirate Ghosts to be real when actually they were just cottonswabs.  So I guess the lesson is, it’s easy to perceive something some way and then be wrong so we all need to learn to be a little less perceptive.”

  1. -Jonathan Davis, lead singer of Korn, 312

FBI Agent: We’ve been after you for a long time, buddy. Do you know your rights?

NSP: Rights, does anybody know their rights?  You see, I’ve learned something today.  Our forefathers came to this country because they believed in an idea, an idea called freedom.  They wanted to leave in a place where you couldn’t be prosecuted for your beliefs – where a person could live the way he chooses to live.  You see us as being perverted because we’re different from you; people are afraid of us because they don’t understand, and sometimes it’s easier to persecute than to understand.

Kyle: Dude, you have sex with children.

NSP: We are human.  Most of us didn’t even choose to be attracted to young boys.  We were born that way.  We can’t help the way we are and if you all can’t understand that, well, then, I guess you’ll just have to put us away.

Everyone is looking around.

Kyle: Dude!  You have SEX with CHILDREN.

Stan: Yeah, you know we believe in equality for everybody and tolerance and all that gay stuff, but dude, fuck you.

  1. -406

“Yeah, sure, we laughed at Timmy, but what’s wrong with laughter. Just because we laughed at something doesn’t mean we don’t care about it. Timmy made us smile, and playing made Timmy smile, and so where’s the harm in that. The people that are wrong are the ones that think Timmy should be protected and kept out of the public’s eye. The cool thing about Timmy being in a band is that he was in your face and you had to deal with him whether you laughed or cried or felt nothing. That’s why Timmy rules.”

- Stan, 404

“Tolerant but not stupid! Look, just because you have to tolerate something doesn’t mean you have to approve of it. If you had to like it it’d be called the Museum of Acceptance. Tolerate means you’re just putting up with it. You tolerate a crying child sitting next to you on the airplane or you tolerate a bad cold. It can still piss you off. Jesus tapdancing Christ!”

  1. -Mr. Garrison, 614

“I guess we all learned that trying to get along is way better than player-hating.”

  1. -Jimmy, 702

“You know, I learned something today. I learned that Jewish people are okay and that Hanukkah can be cool too.”

  1. -Stan, 110

“Hey, hey hey! Children, that's not cool! You don't make fun of somebody because of their ethnicity!”

  1. -Chef, 205

“Don't you realize that the last thing I ever wanted was to be singled out? I just wanted to do my job and live my life like any normal person, but instead, you've made everybody focus on my handicap all week long. Look, I don't want to be treated different. I don't want to be treated special or treated gingerly or - I just want to be ridiculed, shouted at, and made fun of like all the rest of you do to each other.”

  1. -Nurse Gollum, 205

“We in administration see now that you are an individual with your own preferences, and we respect that.”

  1. -Principle Victoria, 614

“We have to accept people for who they are and what they like to do.”

  1. -Museum of Tolerance Tour Guide, 614

Shvek: We've learned to get rid of all the isms in our time.

Medic: Yes. Long ago we realized isms are great for those who are rational, but in the hands of irrational people, isms always lead to violence.

- 1013

“I get it now. I don't get it. I've been trying to say that I understand how you feel, but, I'll never understand. I'll never really get how it feels for a black person to have somebody use the N word. I don't get it.”

  1. -Stan, 1101

“Jesus knew no one man could speak for everyone in a religion. Men can be intolerant; rabbits are pure.”

  1. -Professor Teabag, 1105

“We can never persecute living beings and force them into hiding. It's wrong.”

- Cartman, 1203

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