Inspirational South Park Quotes


“Well I hate to say it but you all got what you deserved.  Look, schools are teaching condom use to younger and younger students each day. But sex isn’t something that should be taught in textbooks and diagrams. Sex is emotional and spiritual – it needs to be taught by family. I know it can be hard parents but if you leave it up to the schools to teach sex to kids you don’t know who they’re learning it from. It could be someone who doesn’t know, someone who has a bad opinion of it or even a complete pervert. ”

  1. -Chef, 507

“If I grow up getting everything I want and having things made easy for me because I have hot knockers, then I’m going to grow up to be a lame person. If I’m handed everything in life then my chances of becoming a lawyer or a marine-biologist are zero.”

  1. -Bebe, 610

“Our son hasn’t learned yet that girls will pretend to like him for money.”

  1. -Butters’ Dad, 714

Stan: How does someone get herpes?

Chef: Well you get it by sharin' relations with somebody who already has it. You have to be veerryy careful around someone who has herpes.

  1. -210

“If you're not sexually attracted to someone, you're not ever going to be. But Saddam isn't right either. He's the other extreme. You need to spend time alone so that you can find the balance, the middle ground. That's what I always do, because I'm a Buddhist.”

  1. -God, 411

“We have to face facts: Children in America are having sex at younger and younger ages. STDs are affecting younger and younger kids all the time. The only way we can combat that is by educating children before they have sex.”

  1. -Ms. Choksondick, 507

Stan: But Chef, when is the right age for us to start having sex?

Chef: It's very simple, children. The right time to start having sex is 17.

Kyle: Seventeen?

Chef: Seventeen.

Sheila: So you mean 17 as long as you're in love?

Chef: Nope, just 17.

Gerald: But, what if you're not ready at 17?

Chef: Seventeen! You're ready.

  1. -507

“You can't let them get in the way of your friends. There are a lot of boobs out there, son. But they're just boobs; your friends are forever....I know you think this set of boobs is important now, but those boobs will be replaced by another set of boobs. Boobs will come and go, and then, someday you'll meet a pair of boobs that you want to marry. And those become the boobs that matter the most.”

  1. -Randy Marsh, 610

“Women know that they can make men do anything by flirting. And some girls, like these, turn that into a profession.”

  1. -Butters’ Dad, 714

“I guess parents don't give a crap about violence if there's sex things to worry about.”

  1. -Stan, 801

“But the idea that we'll be whorish for money is belittling to our gender.”

  1. -Wendy, 812

“I'm growing concerned about the role models young women have in today's society...It seems that lewdness and shallowness are being exalted, while intellectualism is looked down upon...I think young women are being marketed to by corrupt, moral-less corporations.”

  1. -Wendy, 812

“You see, Jimmy, when a man's penis becomes hard, the man puts it into a lady. Into her "vagina." Then, the hard penis sneezes milk inside the lady's tummy, and after it's all done sneezin' milk the penis stops being hard, and the man loses interest in the lady.”

- Butters, 907

“Then why does God make it so that my penis gets hard if girls don't wanna have it in their vaginas? It's like a cruel joke.”

  1. -Jimmy, 907

Cartman: What's to understand? You get a boner, slap her titties around some and then stick it inside her and pee.

Kyle: “Stick it inside her and pee”?

Cartman: Well, okay, fine. Unless you don't want to get her pregnant, then you pull it out and pee on her leg.

- 1010

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