Inspirational South Park Quotes


“I'm here to tell you about drugs and alcohol and why they're bad, mkay? So, first of all, uh, smokin's bad. You shouldn't smoke. And, uh, alcohol is bad. You shouldn't drink alcohol. And, uh, as for drugs, well, drugs are bad. You shouldn't do drugs. Okay, that about wraps up my introduction, now uh, are there any questions?”

- Mr. Mackey, 204

“Drugs are an illegal narcotic, and having never taken drugs I can say that they have nothing to offer.”

  1. -Mr. Mackey’s hick landlord, 204

Chef: I just want to tell you that drugs are bad.

Stan: We know, we know, that’s what everybody says.

Chef: Right, but do you know why they’re bad?

Kyle (like a robot): Because they’re an addictive solution to a greater problem causing disease of both body and mind with consequences far outweighing their supposed benefits.

Chef: And do you have any idea what that means?

Kyle: No.

Cartman: I know. Drugs are bad because if you do drugs you’re a hippy, and hippies suck.

Chef: Look children: this is all I’m gonna say about drugs. Stay away from them. There’s a time and a place for everything and it’s called college.

  1. -204

“The problem with drugs is that people forget to stop doing them. There’s a time and a place for everything, Mr. Mackey, and it’s called college.”

  1. -Betty Ford Clinic Counselor, 204

“You don't need drugs to make you pay attention in school. In my day, if we didn't pay attention we got a belt to the bottom. Now they're tryin' to cure everything with drugs!”

  1. -Chef, 404

Stan: I've been told a lot of things about pot, but I've come to find out a lot of those things aren't true! So I don't know what to believe!

Randy: Well, Stan, the truth is marijuana probably isn't gonna make you kill people, and it most likely isn't gonna fund terrorism, but, well son, pot makes you feel fine with being bored, and it's when you're bored that you should be learning some new skill or discovering some new science or being creative. If you smoke pot you may grow up to find out that you aren't good at anything.

  1. -616

Boy 1: There's a reason most San Francisco kids take a lot of drugs.

Boy 2: It's the only thing that allows us to deal with our parents all walking around loving the smell of their own farts all the time.

  1. -1002

“Problem is, the more you go into that world, the more you need to go until you start blowing off all the real people who care about you.”

- Gerald Broflovski, 1203

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