Inspirational South Park Quotes


“You're so obsessed with ending your life, you're not thinking about what you're doing to his. You must wait to die of natural causes.”

  1. -Stan’s great-great-grandfather, 106

“You know, I think death is least funny when it happens to a child.”

  1. -Mortician, 107

“Twenty-two point three years. That's how long it takes for something tragic to become funny.”

  1. -Kyle, 602

“You're scared of death and he offers you some kind of understanding. You all want to believe in it so much, I know you do. You find comfort in the thought that your loved ones are floating around trying to talk to you, but think about it: Is that really what you want? To just be floating around after you die, having to talk to this asshole? We need to recognize this stuff for what it is: magic tricks. Because whatever's really going on in life and in death is much more amazing than this douche.”

- Stan, 615

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