Inspirational South Park Quotes


“You have to help him, just like I have to help my dad.”

  1. -Kyle, 302

Chef: You children didn’t even see the flag as a black man being hanged by white people, did you?

Children: No.

Chef: Why that is – that is the most beautiful thing I have ever heard.

Mayor: What?

Chef: Don’t you see? All this time I thought these little crackers had turned racist, when actually they were so not racist that they didn’t even make a separation of black and white to begin with. All they saw when they looked at that flag was five people. 

  1. -408

“What has America's youth come to? Kids won't even kill their own grandparents.”

  1. -Stan’s Grandfather, 106

“Well, I've taken a liking to all of you. You're all so young and cute and full of life.”

  1. -Ms. Ellen, the substitute, 111

“There’s a time and a place for everything, and it’s called college.”

  1. -Chef, 204

“We're kids, dude. We don't volunteer for anything.”

  1. -Stan

“They're just young boys. Joking is a way for them to come to terms with what they don't understand.”

  1. -Nurse Gollum, 205

Kyle: Chef. We wanna know about herpes.

Chef: What makes you think I would know anything about that?

Kyle: Well I don't know. You're just the only grownup we trust.

  1. -210

“You have to help him, just like I have to help my dad.”

  1. -Kyle, 302

“But you know, I learned something today. I used to call you guys Melvins. But you're just kids, like me. We separate you in school because you talk different and you study too hard, but we've proven tonight that we can all get along.”

  1. -Stan, 308

Mark: Why do you call Kyle names and laugh at him? Is he not your friend?

Stan: Yeah, dude, but guys just do that. We rip on each other and stuff.

Mark: I see. It's like, you have to mark your territory as a boy. You have to socially find your place.

  1. -313

“Public schools may be a bit lacking in education, but it's the main place where children learn all of their social skills. You can't teach a child social skills. They have to learn them themselves. And the only place to do that is on the playground, in the cafeteria, and so on.”

  1. -Mark, 313

“My period, you guys. You see, there comes a time in every child's life when they grow up and nature takes its course by having you bleed out your ass for a few days every month.”

  1. -Cartman, 316

Gerald: Adults make up those things because they're fun for children.

Kyle: Fun for children?! Look at me, Dad! I don't even know what's real anymore!

- 401, about learning that the Tooth Fairy isn’t real

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