Inspirational South Park Quotes


“You know, I think we all learned something today.  It’s fine to have your own beliefs and your own traditions, but as soon as you start excluding people from your ways, only because of their race you become separatists and being a separatist sucks ass.”

  1. -Kyle, 309

“Cults are dangerous because they promise you hope, happiness, and maybe even an afterlife, but in return they demand that you pay money. Any religion that requires you to pay money in order to move up and learn its tenets is wrong. You see, all religions have something valuable to teach but just like the Super Best Friends learned, it requires a little bit of them all.”

  1. -Stan, 504

“The plain simple truth is that nobody is psychic. There’s a logical explanation for every psychic story you’ve ever heard.”

  1. -Kyle, 813

“Well, perhaps, one day, cows will learn that cults are never a good thing.”

  1. -Mayor, 213

“Marklar, these marklars want to change your marklar. They don't want Marklar or any of these marklars to live here because it's bad for their marklar. They use Marklar to try and force marklars to believe they're marklar. If you let them stay here, they will build marklars and marklars. They will take all your marklars and replace them with Marklar. These marklar have no good marklar to live on Marklar, so they must come here to Marklar. Please, let these marklars stay where they can grow and prosper without any marklars, marklars, or marklars.”

  1. -Kyle, 311

“We followed blindly for thousands of years and we think the least God can do is show up for New Year's Eve 1999!”

  1. -Uncle Jimbo, 316

“This book says I don't exist unless I think I do. But what if I don't?”

  1. -Kyle, 402

“It's all about being a good person now. You see, Christians use Hell as a way to scare people into believing what they believe. But to believe in something just because you're afraid of the consequences if you dont believe in something is no reason to believe in something. Understand?”

  1. -Gerald Broflovski, 410

Jesus: Stanley, I want you to meet some of the Super Best friends: Buddha, with the powers of invisibility; Mohammed, the Muslim prophet with the powers of flame; Krishna, the Hindu deity; Joseph Smith, the Mormon prophet; Lao Tse, the found of Taoism; and Sea-Man, with the ability to breathe underwater and link mentally with fish.

Stan: So you mean to tell me that even though people fight and argue over different religions, you guys are all actually friends?

Mohammed: More than friends, young boy, we are super best friends, with the desire to fight for justice.

  1. -504

“I think maybe we're not seeing heaven because one of us doesn't believe in it enough...Heaven could be like the pixie fairies of Bubble Yum Forest. You only see them if you really believe in them.”

  1. -Cartman, 612

John Edward: Look, what I do doesn't hurt anybody. I give people closure and help them cope with life.

Stan: No, you give them false hope and a belief in something that isn't real.

  1. -615

“The big questions in life are tough: Why are we here? Where are we from? Where are we going? But if people believe in asshole douchey liars like you, we're never gonna find the real answer to those questions. You aren't just lying, you're slowing down the progress of all mankind.”

  1. -Stan, 615

“Look, I don't care what you guys believe. But with all the crazy stuff that goes on in this town, isn't it possible, just possible, that something I don't understand happened here?”

  1. -Cartman, 705

“The last thing we want is for people to think we're pushing our religion. We know there are a lot of beliefs out there and ours just works for us.”

  1. -Karen Harrison, 712

“You can believe whatever you want.”

  1. -Gary, 712

“It’s great you have your own beliefs.”

  1. -Gary Harrison Sr., 712

“We shouldn't rely on violence to inspire faith.”

  1. -Shlomo, 804

“We're all looking for answers, you know. We all want to understand who we are and where we come from, but sometimes we want to know the answers so badly that we

believe just about anything.”

  1. -Stan, 912

“Some of the most intelligent otters I've ever known were completely lacking in common sense. Maybe, some otters do need to believe in something. Who knows? Maybe, just believing in God makes God exist.”

  1. -The Wise One, 1013

“If you believe in yourself, everything will turn out all right.”

- Aslan, 1111

Copyright © 2009 The Zen of South Park 2009. All rights reserved.

Home          Contact          FAQ          Buy          Blog          Mailing List

Get a FREE bonus chapter from The Zen of South Park!Free_Sample_Chapter_of_The_Zen_of_South_Park.html
Get a FREE bonus chapter from The Zen of South Park!Free_Sample_Chapter_of_The_Zen_of_South_Park.html
Book Features

   Table of Contents


   FREE Chapter!


Site Features

   Quote Bank

   Bonus Material



Bring It to Life!

   Mailing List

   In the Classroom